erm

right now I'm pretty glad that Mr. IQ's blog "new" thingy doesn't work for me. Let's just say that I said some things here that I shouldn't have, I hurt someone and I'm deeply sorry for it.

I truly regret hurting you and I will do everything I can not to let it happen again. I love you.

grrrrrrrrr, frustration

well, C finally got a clue, yay! However...even though I learned this is mutual, he has yet to actually do smething about it.

I'm not asking for much. No declarations of love please. We've only been on one date alone. I'm all for taking things slow and maintaining integrity and all that jazz but ARGH! this is frustrating.

I'm a pretty affectionate person (right Daniel?). I need some kind of reassurance I don't have an ugly flesh-eating disease. I don't want a lot, not even a kiss if that's the way it has to be but geez! give me something please!

I think I'm gonna have to take up kick-boxing or something.

On a totally unrelated note, I recently bought the soundtrack from the movie Amelie. It's awesome, you should own it.

boys, boys, boys

cast of characters:

A. - ex-boyfriend from high school. Very affectionate and gets the wrong idea very easily
B. - friend, also a single parent whose son is 2 months younger than my little girl. Very flirty/affectionate personality but I have no interest in adding more babies to my life
C. - friend, not flirty at all but has lots of potential. This one is a keeper.

so much for my theory that I was never going to date again.

Here I was convinced that I would be alone the rest of my life and suddenly I've been out with C. the last two Saturdays. I also ended up cancelling a lunch date with B. today. I have no idea what's going on.

Everyone root for C. to get the hint.

I swear I'm not really like that!

I was looking back at my recent posts and realized that I only ever blog when I'm upset about something. I'm not nearly as depressed and unhappy as this blog makes me seem. I love my job, I love my daughter. I love my life, I wouldn't change it. Well, maybe I'd change some of the small pointless annoyances but overall I wouldn't change a thing.

yes, there are people (Daniel) who I wish weren't so far away and sometimes I'm really lonely, but I count myself as one of the lucky ones. My life has had so many opportunities to become so much harder and worse than it is.

I got my Christmas present from the Ukraine today. The matrushka dolls are so cute Daniel, yay! I'm going to hold onto Molly's until she's old enough not to suck all the paint off in her attempt to eat it. I haven't listened to the cd yet but it looks interesting.

I've become the Wicked Witch of the West

I think my skin must be turning green.

It seems that the last few days all I've felt is jealous. Jealous of people I know hooking up, jealous of my friend getting engaged, jealous that my ex mentioned his travel buddy in his blog twice without mentioning me...the original travel buddy.

I find myself jealous of anyone who has a significant other. I can't even seem to get one guy to realize that I'm interested. Bah! I'm having a good pity party, I'll let you know when I'm done.

In happier news, my friend who got engaged asked me to be a bridesmaid. Now I have another motivation to lose the baby weight. Day two of the diet and I'm already struggling :( I decided there was no way I could do the whole, Atkins/South Beach/no carbs thing. I need those carbs to get me through work. Just reducing my food intake and upping the exercise. It's called the "common sense" diet. Wish me luck!

the soon to be Mrs. Eccker

No, not me. My best friend as a kid got engaged on New Year's Eve. I'm only a tiny bit jealous. Really, only a little. I'm really happy for her, he's a good guy and I think they'll be realy happy.

I'm just a tiny bit jealous is all. Just a tiny bit.