hospital business

My hospital tour on Friday night was nice and re-assuring. First off, this hospital only has private rooms, yay! I was so worried I would have to deal with listening to some other woman going through labor and then maybe her baby waking up my baby. I just didn't want to share my room! But I don't have to so hooray!

All the l&d rooms have jacuzzi tubs in them and cable which is another plus. The post-partum rooms aren't as nice, but it's still private and my baby never has to leave my room unless it's for a test or something. They don't do the whole nursery thing. Good, since I was having nightmares that they would try to give me someone else's baby!

One thing worries me though. I'm scared to spend that first night in the hospital by myself. I'm so jealous of all the other women who have their husbands to stay with them and help them out. I have my mom and my sister, but I doubt they'll want to sleep at the hospital with me.

Daniel (my ex but not the dad) wanted to be with me when Molly is born but I told him I didn't want him here. Now I do. I just want someone who'll hold me and stay with me and stuff. It's my own fault for telling him I didn't want him there, but now I'm regretting it.

I suppose I should get used to it being just me and Molly, but I'm still really scared about that first night. Maybe my sister will stay with me. I guess it just depends on when it happens really. I almost want to hope I go this week since Daniel gets here tomorrow or Thursday. Heck, I wouldn't mind not being fat and preggo anymore.

Oh well.

insomnia

I don't know what this is. Well, I do, but I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share. But I do.

I try to put my feet down
But the waves come too fast
And the sand shifts.
Suddenly I’m drowning,
I can’t stand

You were everything I wanted.
You were everything I needed.
But I closed my eyes too tight,
And now I’m miles from where I want to be.

Unreachable, taunting.
Perfection runs from me,
Leaving me stripped.
Stranger with an offer,
I can’t refuse.

You offered everything I wanted.
You offered everything I needed.
But I closed my eyes too tight,
And now I’m a thousand miles from where I want to be.

it sucks and I know it, just don't laugh where I can see you.

some blatant plugging of my best friend's website :D

The great thing about this website is that I'm in half of it. Especially the travelogues...all the ones from Europe have me in them...mostly cause I went. It's awesome. My friend is uber talented.

some days I wish I had a job. I have a job starting in Sept, but until then I have nothing to do. It's kinda boring. And definately lonely. Being lonely and hormonal really sucks.

sad, sad news.

who woulda thunk?

I was actually productive today, yay for me! My mom and I moved the rest of the office stuff out of the nursery and reassembled it downstairs so I now finally have my nursery all set up. Now if I only had the stuff to put in it...

I'm tried as hell now and I'm sure my back and body will be killing me later but I feel good cause I accomplished something today.

Being poor sucks a lot

I want to go to a concert this Sat but I have no money to go. I guess there's really no point wanting to go now anyways, it's sold out. The line-up looks awesome; Modest Mouse, Beastie Boys, Hoobastank and other such bands.

I'm done whining, but I still want to go.

to share or not to share

so I'v been debating whether or not to tell anyone I have this blog or if I want to just keep it to myself. I realize it's the internet, I'm sure people read it, but I just don't know if I really want to know if people are reading it. I can't decide.

I have a new toy!

So my car has been getting steadily dirtier and dirtier. It's made two trips from Cali to Oklahoma and spent over three months in both places without getting washed. I had half the bug population of Texas splattered across my car. I had a dirty car. Now my mom hates dirty cars. She gets her car washed every week or so. So I know it pained her to have to look at my dirty car. So what did she do? She went and bought me a fun new toy!

It's that new Mr. Clean spot-free car washing thingy. Oh man is it fun. You can spray just regular water, or soapy water or "ionized" water. Supposedly it's the ionized water that makes it not get all soptted. Whatever. I don't know about all that but, my car is clean! And relatively spot free so I guess it works.

But even if I never use it again, I have a feeling that next summer, when my daughter will be almost a year, it'll come in handy as a fun new toy again!

Yay for new toys!